they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
