Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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