dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
