he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
