Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
