ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Randomize
