shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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