dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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