Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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