Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm always down for nudity.
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