I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize