He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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