How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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