So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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