I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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