I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
this hospital has no fireball
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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