david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
