the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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