I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
