"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
