C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
