if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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