Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
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