thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
