its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
