That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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