I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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