what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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