May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
