Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
