i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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