There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
