Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
