We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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