U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
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