the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize