Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
