Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
