The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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