Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
