He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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