We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
