Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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