Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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