im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
