Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
