Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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