So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
