I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
