I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
