I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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