Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
