I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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