Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
