You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
