FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
So many bounce houses so little time
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
