I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
