There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
